I recently saw the 2025 Superman movie. Without giving too much of the plot away, there is a point in the movie where Superman needs time to heal, so he returns home. This is not his adult home or his secret, superhero home. It is the home where he grew up, where the people who raised him still live.
The contrast is stark in the context of his life. He goes from city life to remote country life, which is quiet and removed. What I loved about the imagery is that the character is still doing something, but it looks totally different. Instead of flying, he is lying down. Instead of fighting, he’s eating a bowl of cereal. He returned to form; he is the most basic version of himself.
When we work towards something that builds our identity, it’s easy to get consumed. This is not about burnout; it’s about the danger of growing up. As you grow in a role, you move or are moved towards responsibilities. A new job? You’re moving towards new deadlines. A new program? You’re moving towards a refined skillset. A new family? You’re moving towards a schedule beyond yourself.
All the movement can be deceiving.
Have you ever spent time on the beach? More specifically, have you gotten into the ocean? You set up your square on the sand and then walk into the ocean. If you spend some time wading in the water, you look back at the shoreline and notice you have drifted down the coastline. It can be a little too easy to get moved away.
The movement is a good thing. You’re immersed in the activities that are building up your greatest self. As humans, we are meant to grow and challenge our sense of self all the time. We are not meant to detach, though, to float away. In the ocean, the fix is easy: walk towards the coastline so that you can find your footing and then walk back to your towel. In the context of life, it takes a little more effort.
Growing up doesn’t mean leaving your younger versions behind.
Your best self is:
Your kid self—all the weird thoughts that made you laugh. The things that made you feel wonder.
Your teenage self—all the highs and lows of your developing worldview. It’s the moments of reckoning with how you were raised and the expectations around you.
Your young adult self—all the questioning and growing ideas of what it means to build a life of your own.
Your adult self —all the power you have to make choices and the consequences of those choices; how to own what you decide.
Your greatest power is your ability to return to your most basic sense of self, if only for a few moments at a time. Don’t lose sight of your starting point. Just learn to visit when you can.